oh my god... i hate my mind, anytime something new comes around and terrifying i lose sleep over it like crazy, i went to sleep last night at 10 and woke up at 2... im PISSED!! i just wanted to be rested for today so i have enough energy and dont disappoint my new unit. grrrr.... today at 530 i have to be on ft sam at the pt field to take my once a year pt test, and this is also the first weekend reporting for duty in my reserve unit. i hate it. and then it didnt help that i had the craziest desperate dreams last night, its weird, becca has been telling me for years that ill fall for anything with legs that looks my way and im only happy if i have someone to take care of and smother with love... and then for some reason i have dreams about the usual lady, but then after that i have a dream about this woman i work with ive never once talked to who just looks incredibly sad all the time. it was basically me coming up to her to talk to her and ask her whats wrong and asking her if she wanted to come shoot pool with me and my friends... but the thing is, i would never actually do that in real life, i dont have enough courage to approach strange sad woman ive never talked to unless its a requirement of work or day to day life. its just funny cause its ture, i just want someone to care for and since theres no one there right now my subconscious is trying to feel the void in my dreams.. stupid mental subconscious, your silly. i agree though, i sooooo should be trying to adjust my life to being single and take this part of my life for what it is and live day by day just enjoying my time, but its hard, it just doesnt feel like me.
le sigh... hehe im gonna be a dork today, after i get off army work im gonna go to real work in my uniform cause my supervisor needs a copy of this years training schedule so she can enter in my military leave for the next couple of months. its wierd, i wore it for 8 months without a problem, but no one who knew me has ever seen me in uniform and i feel sheepish and dorky whenever i wear it here in san antonio. its sooo awkward.
blah... its 430 in the morning I SHOULD BE ASLEEP!!!
well wish me luck on my pt test, hopefully i do well enough to merit my hopeful cross my fingers every day promotion in august to e-4 specialist.